rants and observations

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that McDonald’s Restaurants is the official purveyor of fine food and a major sponsor of the 2010 winter Olympics. Who says loads of money can’t buy anything, huh? Can you imagine how many Olympic athletes adhere to a healthy diet of delicious McGrease burgers and fat fries? But these artery clogging saturated fat pushers are the official restaurant sponser of the sports spectacle we call the 2010 winter games. It’s like Clifford Olson hosting the Variety Show Of Hearts Telethon.

So you would think that a big mega-corporation like McDonald’s would be on its best corporate behaviour during the upcoming games. Well, you’re wrong. They’re busy bullying local chefs at the Four Host First Nations pavilion. It seems that professional chefs Arnold Olson and Andrew George have concocted some tasty haute aboriginal cuisine to welcome the world but it includes a trio of bison burgers served with sauteed wild mushrooms and Saltspring Island goat cheese. Ya know, the type of burger we would instantly associate with McDonalds, purveyors of small, greasy, tasteless, overcooked and unhealthy burgers all over the world. Hardly. There’s no way that anything that sounds remotely tasty would ever be confused with any of the muck that McDonald’s spews forth on the junk food consuming masses.

But to be sure, the McDonald’s big-wigs objected to Arnold and Andrew’s burgers being referred to as BURGERS. Yes, it appears that McDonald’s, unbeknownst to everyone but themselves, somehow magically own the rights to the name of the meat sandwich known all over the world as the hamburger which was arguably created at the turn of the 19th century (good evidence points to the first burger being made by Oscar Bilby of Tulsa in 1891). But McDonald’s is a sponsor and, like VANOC and their ilk, can call the shots and force their will on anyone associated with the event, including trained chefs who have prepared meals in top-flight European hotel chains and at Expo 86, where their aboriginal cuisine was a huge hit. They’ve been forced to refer to their burgers as sliders and have changed their menus accordingly. Ridiculous to say the least.

Who would possibly confuse anything that doesn’t taste like the wrong end of a hamster with any item on McDonald’s menu? Especially something that sounds as good as a tasty, low-fat Bison BURGER! Yeah, that’s right…BURGER! Take that McDonald’s!!

When undergoing an MRI scan, you’re asked to change into a prerequisite hospital smock before the procedure. A sign in the change room asks you to bring your valuables with you to protect them from theft. But it really doesn’t do much good if you’re trying to protect your money from VANOC because they always have access to your wallet. That’s why it took many, many months to have your MRI scan in the first place.

As reported previously on this blog, various public sectors have spent over $3 million for top-quality Olympic tickets, the city of Vancouver recently spent close to a million bucks on dorky banners and over a billion bucks on the Olympic village. We’re all aware of the ongoing waste, the inconvenience, the upheaval, the non-refundable costs to struggling and failing small businesses that are being strong-armed by VANOC, and all the other crap that’s been reported during the last few years due to the upcoming Olympic party. And it makes me sick.

The point was made exceedingly clear by the recent purchase of a new, oversized MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) unit at Richmond Hospital. The $2.5-million equipment — funded by donors through a large fundraising campaign — is the only MRI in B.C. capable of imaging larger patients (up to 550 pounds) and claustrophobic patients. But not only is this the only MRI of its kind in the province, it’s also Richmond’s first MRI machine so up to that point, patients were sent to Vancouver for scans.

The funding for the purchase of this machine has been an ongoing project since 1994 and has only been realized in the past month! And for what? A measly $2.5 million which amounts to chump-change for VANOC. Those clowns spend more money entertaining business and political leeches and on other superfluous, wasteful crap in a day than you and I will spend in a lifetime. But funding for something as exceedingly important as an MRI unit required years of fund raising. And to say nothing of the lives this type of equipment can save, significantly more than a bunch of Olympic event tickets. Do me a favor…if there’s a chance I may have a brain tumor, give me an MRI scan over an over-priced Olympic ticket. And wait until you are diagnosed with a suspicious lump somewhere in your body. Only then will you appreciate the availability of the medical equipment that may save your life rather than a shrimp plate for a visiting dignitary.

So what’s the future of the new Richmond MRI? It’s capable of performing up to 5,000 MRI’s a year but only with increased funding so will offer 1,400 to 1,500 scans until the required funding is realized. Meanwhile the Olympic party will continue and the money will flow through the streets of Vancouver, Whistler and Richmond but nowhere near the new MRI and patients will continue to wait or travel to Vancouver for their MRI scans.

The wasteful spending and blatant theft of taxpayer’s money to fund this over-hyped event will haunt this province for many years to come but the fact that it impacts the health and lives of untold residents is at travesty. Gee…I wonder if the funding would be available for Richmond Hospital if MRI scanning was a winter Olympic event?

Rick needs an angel. According to page A34 of today’s Province newspaper, he’s looking for a good Samaritan to donate a section of liver so he can live a longer and healthier life. Although the procedure is serious, the donor’s liver regenerates leaving a small scar and a big heart. And Rick gets to live a normal and happy life. Sounds like a no-brainer to me and I’d be first in line if, due to my own issues, I was a suitable candidate.

Drop Rick an email at the address below if you can help. The following is the text of Rick’s newspaper plea:

I was recently diagnosed with a very rare cancer that affects only 1 in 300,000 people. And I don’t have very many options available to me. In fact, I only have one…I need to undergo a liver transplant within the next 2-3 months.
Under the Canadian Medical Transplant guidelines, most cancer patients may have to wait up to 2 years. Sadly, I would not be able to sustain that long. However, if I can provide the surgeons with a live donor, I can undergo the transplant sooner than later. And this is what myself and my family live in hope of.

Essentially, a live donor is a willing candidate that would donate a portion, or lobe, of their liver. Although this is a serious procedure, the outcome for the donor is that they would typically recover within 3-4 weeks and their liver will regenerate or grow back to its normal size in as little as 6 weeks after the operation. As a result, I would be given a second lease on life.

I am hoping that a healthy adult between the ages of 18-60 with type O blood is going to volunteer for this life-saving surgery. It is against the law for me to offer anyone money for this procedure. I ask at the mercy of all, that there’s an angel out there with a heart of gold.

Serious candidates can get more information at the following email address: bericksangel@gmail.com

Good luck Rick, and let us know how it goes.

Famous golfing guy Tiger Woods is reportedly spending time at the Pine Grove Behavioral Health and Addiction Services clinic and is being treated for Sex Addiction. Yes, that’s right. Tiger is addicted to sex. Along with other innocent victims like David Duchovny, Michael Douglas, Bill Clinton, Charlie Sheen, Robbie Williams, Eric Benet, Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee, Billy Bob Thornton, Tom Sizemore and Gene Simmons. They’re all admitted sex addicts. Notice anything they have in common? Could it be that they’re all RICH AND FAMOUS? Could that be the root of their problem? Maybe? Ya think?

Ya know how you become sexually addicted? You become rich and famous, get married and fool around on your wife. Women like men who are rich and famous even if they’re married and tend to have sex with them, especially if they have close to a billion dollars in the bank, a private jet and a big yacht. Do you really think Tiger would spending time in a clinic and being treated for sexual addiction if he was a) Not a sports celebrity or b) Poor? Nope, not a chance. He would be what most refer to as a Horn Dog. He wouldn’t need therapy. He wouldn’t be paying exorbitant amounts of money to a sex therapist. He wouldn’t need a cure. He’d just be a horn dog.

Why is it that wealthy celebrities that sleep around and get caught are labeled sex addicts and need treatment in swanky clinics surrounded by supportive medical staff and paparazzi while the average married Joe that plays the field and gets caught is just an asshole? It’s because the wealthy celebrities are famous and have lots of money which, coincidentally, is the root cause of the addiction in the first place. Oh what a tangled web they weave.

Why aren’t there short, ugly, pimply-faced, unemployed, fat sex addicts? Because women don’t sleep with ugly, pimply-faced, unemployed, fat guys that want sex. However if they were ugly, pimply-faced, unemployed, fat, wealthy CELEBRITIES with a private jet and a yacht then the dreaded sexual addiction would become their albatross. Oh the shame! Oh the suffering! Oh the chicks!!

So here’s my message to Tiger Woods and the rest of these idiots. Give up the money. Give up the fame. Give up the model wife. Your sexual addiction will magically disappear overnight and you’ll be just like the rest of us. Horn dogs.

My life, for better or worse, is digital. For a guy raised on vinyl records, rotary phones and three channel TV, the changes to my life and lifestyle are immense.

My music collection is stored on a hard drive and streamed wirelessly to anywhere in my house or played on my iPod Touch which can also control my computers and music system. My movies are stored on another hard drive and played on my wall-mounted flat screen TV from a digital multimedia player. My home phones are wireless and are available in most rooms of the house. My cell phone is connected to my car and tiny bluetooth earpiece allowing me to call anyone, anywhere using only voice commands. My wife chats with her mother in Europe every Sunday morning on her netbook using Skype. Our home network consists of 6 computers all controlled by a single machine running Windows Home Server which backs up all the data automatically each night.

Our favourite TV shows are recorded on a PVR hard drive which we can also use to pause or rewind live shows. My guitars plug into a digital effects system which can simulate a wide variety of amps and effects and plugs into my laptop for system and effect updates or creating new custom sounds. I can access my work network from home using VPN allowing me to retrieve photos, email, notes and other stuff at any time of the day or night. I can send friends and family photos, video and music instantly anywhere in the world or use one of my websites to store and display files.

I download and read my books using the Amazon Kindle. I take photos using my cell phone or digital camera and can send them to anyone, anywhere in the world within seconds. My video camera records high definition images on digital tape and plugs into my computers for transfer to video files, DVD or YouTube. My car’s GPS gives me directions to almost any place on the planet, plays music and communicates with my cell phone.

I can access the Internet, my home or work network while having a coffee at Starbucks or any other wireless hot spot using my laptop or iPod touch, allowing me to control all the music players in my home or control any other computer or attached device remotely.

This stuff is magic but we’re no longer mystified and fascinated by new digital products and services. Kids expect everything instantly and will never enjoy the thrill of attaching two cans with a length of string or spending hours shopping for a new vinyl record at the local music store.

So do I like this stuff? Yes of course I do but now and again I pine for the simpler days of vinyl records, rotary phones and three channel TV.